Hospital billing is not for the weak.

The Benefit Concert went very well and was pretty successful, thanks to many generous individuals. As the steward of the proceeds, I ventured forth to fulfill my obligation to determine exactly how much was to be distributed and to whom.

I am no stranger to the vagaries of hospital billing. I help publish books on the subject, so I was prepared for the first step - finding out who was billing for what services.

There were 4 trips to the ER over the last year. This, I knew, would result in 8 separate bills - two bills for each trip.

One bill from the hospital. One bill from the ER doctors.

What I was not prepared to for was the revelation that EACH visit and EACH bill would be listed under a DIFFERENT account number.

Most companies that generate bills link the account number to the individual. Therefore, no matter where you live, no matter how many times you purchase goods or services from the same company, they can tell you how much you owe them. I am Donna Lynn and my account number is --- -- -----------.

Not so with hospitals. The account number is linked to the date of service, or DOS in billing jargon. Each DOS is assigned its own account number. If you had 4 trips to the hospital, then you get 4 different account numbers. If you were actually seen by a doctor during that trip, then there's an account number for that too.

So, 4 dates of service equals 4 hospital bills with 4 different account numbers plus 4 doctor bills with 4 different account numbers. Everybody with me so far?

Now, given that the payment is late on these multiple accounts because of waiting for state aid to kick in, some of these bills have gone into collection, BUT not to the same collection agency. One agency has one bill for the hospital for one DOS. The other hospital bills for the other DOS are with a different agency. The bills for the physicians? Those are somewhere else altogether.

Moving on - two of those visits to the ER resulted in a hospital admission, but not to the same hospital! The admitting hospital was down the road a piece. Same hospital SYSTEMS - but a different facility, which means, you guessed it, separate billing. Under different account numbers. For each DOS. And don't forget, the doctors bill separately also. Under different account numbers. For each DOS.

I called the admitting hospital in the hopes that I could get some kind of itemized bill that would list everything in one place because as steward of the finances, I really only want the grand total and where to send the check.

Unsurprisingly, I was met with an automated voice service. The voice system noted this system covered 4 different hospitals. The voice system was also kind enough to remind me that in order to get an itemized bill I would need "certain information".

If I did not have the "necessary information", I should "hang up, gather the necessary information..." and call back.

Unfortunately, the "necessary information" is apparently a government secret. They could tell me (I suppose) what I needed to have on hand to complete the call, but then they'd have to kill me. I still don't know what "necessary information" I should gather, but I was willing to give it all my best guess, so I pressed on.

I was instructed by the automated system to use the "touch tone keypad" on my phone to enter the "necessary information", and to press the # key when finished with each entry.

Question 1: Which facility initiated the bill you are requesting?

I waited. I waited to hear "for Lankenau Hospital, press or say 1; for Paoli Hospital, press or say 2...."

Nothing but silence. Was I supposed to be typing "Lankenau" or "Bryn Mawr" using my touch tone keypad?!? The delay resulted in the voice system telling me if I needed help I could press 0 to speak to a customer service representative.

I know when I need help and I'm not afraid to admit it. I pressed 0.

"Today is Monday, May 11. We are in a training session from 9:00 AM - Noon. Then we are in a meeting from 2:00-3:00 PM. Our office closes at 4:00 PM."

Looks like Round 2 will have to wait until tomorrow.

As I attempted to do last Lent, I spent this Lenten season trying to remember to say a prayer of thanks before every meal.

It had a two-fold purpose. One was to give me a reason to say a regular prayer, even if only a short one. I have fallen out of the habit of praying regularly, and I miss it. The second purpose was to help me be more mindful of what I was putting into my mouth figuring if I paid more attention to the whole eating process, I'd eat less.

The practice served the first purpose very well. Not quite as well on the second. No surprise there.

However, as is often true of these sorts of spiritual practices, another unexpected result has emerged, discovered after I ended up talking about it twice in the same evening.

The question posed to me was: What is the significance of giving thanks for food, or anything, except to make you yourself thankful for what you already have?

I thought it was a good question, particularly when one realizes that God (to whom the thanks is often offered) doesn't need our thanks. In other words, God is not dependent upon human thanks for validation. When we do a favor for someone and they say thanks, we feel good about doing them a favor. Our action is validated. We extended a small part of ourselves to another, they accept it, acknowledge it, and so the act comes full circle.

When we do a favor for someone and they never say thanks, or never acknowledge the act, we're left hanging out in the wind. We extended a small part of ourselves to another, and it disappeared. Suddenly there's this sense of loss and of feeling diminished or rejected.

This is not - cannot be - true of God. God is a constant. There is nothing anyone can do or say that adds to God or takes away from God. God is not any less God when we don't acknowledge what we believe has been given to us; God is not any greater a God when we do acknowledge the gifts in our lives.

So then why give thanks? And why does the subject of giving thanks come up as often as it does in Scripture, because there are many examples where people are chastised for not giving appropriate thanks to God. If God doesn't need it, then why lay the smackdown on those who seem to be ungrateful?

And the very short answer I've been thinking about is that giving thanks regularly does 2 things (at least):

1) it counters all the negative thoughts we conjure up in our heads by refuting them with reality. I may think I'm in a bad place (so the negative thoughts tell me) where I am unloved, unwanted, rejected, neglected, unhappy, etc., but when I step back and look firmly at the reality of what is truly in my life, I soon realize I am standing in a place of abundance. "Count your blessings" may seem to be a trite phrase, but it's no less important than counting our pennies to assure ourselves that we have enough money to live. If I'm careful to monitor what's in my bank account, then I should be at least as careful about monitoring what is in my spiritual account because I need that to live even more than I need money. Giving thanks is one way of taking inventory.

2) Giving thanks also keeps me humble in the sense that it compels me to stop assuming I have all this control; and therefore, all this responsibility; and therefore, all this opportunity for failure. When I acknowledge that there are good things in my life for which I can take little to no credit for having, it reminds me that I am merely a small part of a much bigger picture. It reconnects me to the One, and that provides me with a sense of wholeness - of completeness - in spite of all the broken-ness that surrounds me.

As far as being scripturally chastised for not giving thanks, it is becoming clearer to me that God's chastisement is at its harshest when we are denying ourselves God's greatest gifts. Understanding the abundance present in our lives by giving thanks is not to keep a wrathful God at bay. It is for our benefit, our growth, and our joy.

Thank God.

The Box

I have a new folder on my computer.  It's called "The Box".  I created this folder after the end of another relationship because I decided I needed a place to store memories that I wasn't ready to trash, but preferred to get them out of the way so I could not accidentally stumble upon them.

Who would have ever guessed we'd reach an era where we'd need to establish "cyber-attics"?  Instead of a shoebox to keep old photos, letters written on fading paper, odds and ends that spark misty memories, we now need a minimum amount of mega-bytes on a hard drive.

In this age of digital photography, e-mails, IM's, file sharing, social networking, and all other forms of electronic communication and connection, letting go of a relationship is no longer as easy as washing that man/woman right outta your hair.  This stuff sticks around.

A recent photo taken during one of our last dates was sent to me through e-mail.  I opened the attachment, which created a permanent file automatically stored in my "Downloads" folder.  Then I saved the file with a filename and put it into my "Pictures" folder.   I wanted to share it with friends, so I attached the saved file to a new e-mail, which stored a copy in my "Sent" folder.  One moment in time.  One memory.  Four copies that will last a lifetime.

I'm not ready to trash the photo.  I've ditched a lot of the e-mails, gone through the IM logs and thrown out as much as I dare to at this point.  I'm not getting any younger.  My opportunity to create new memories is fairly less than it used to be, so I'm a little more particular about what I keep and what I try to forget.  In a few more years, I'll be struggling a lot more to remember, and these photos - now a little painful to look at - may remind me of times when I did feel happiness and when I was in love and when I knew the intimate closeness of another soul next to mine.

Of course, one errant virus or slip of the finger on the wrong key, and I could end up losing these electronic bits and pieces of my life's data anyway.

Maybe I should burn it to a CD.....