Now is the Fall of my discontent....

Perhaps it is due the change of seasons that I am feeling vaguely melancholy and out of sorts.

Or, perhaps it is because I no longer have a passion for what I do.

I like my boss. I like the company. I get great benefits. I get boatloads of vacation. I pretty much come and go as I please. I sometimes work from home. The pay is adequate. I get a bonus every year. I have money in the retirement plan.

And I'm bored beyond reason. It's not even that the work is dull because what I've been working on is actually pretty interesting. If I could muster up any kind of motivation, I could probably rip though 90% of what I have to get done in one day instead of procrastinating it out for weeks on end.

However, I sit at a desk in a cluster of cubes where no one is more than 100 feet away from me, and no one speaks. Ever. To anyone.

It's quieter than a library in here and the effect is like trying to work in a sensory deprivation tank. Rather than leaving me with a feeling of peaceful and productive solitude, I feel isolated and depressed.

My boss hired a new person to work on a particular project. He's a young guy, this new person, energetic and bright. But, he's caught on pretty quickly that idle chit-chat has no place in this office and so he's followed suit with everyone else - he's got a pair of headphones stuck on his head and he never speaks beyond "Good morning" and "Have a good night." Meanwhile, I notice he also spends a good part of the day surfing the net and posting to blogs and message boards.

He at least has smoking working in his favor. Smokers have a network of allies. They meet outside and bond over Marlboro's and menthols. I used to smoke and when I quit, I lost all connection to my fellow inhalers and subsequently also lost all inside knowledge and gossip.

I come in. I sit. I stare at a computer. I force myself to do something work related. I pack a lunch. I eat at my desk. As soon as I think I can leave without raising eyebrows, I go home.

And I hate it.

The real dilemma is I have no idea how to improve the situation. Sure, I could look for another job in another company, but doing what? The same thing? Why start over somewhere else to do the same thing when it means I'll also have to give up the vacation time, the bonuses, the freedom of movement...

To do something else? I've been trying to think of some other line of work I'd like to do that might be more stimulating, and honestly, the things I think of don't pay nearly as well as this job. Jobs that pay more I'm not sure I'm qualified to do.

It doesn't help that people I admired or at least respected in this company left for bigger and better things, and ended up coming back here! Nothing says "Don't bother." like watching someone dance out the door in anticipation of a better situation and then watching them schelp back in again a year or two later because the better situation turned out to be no better.

It's enough to make me want to adopt some quirky and unusual habits just to break up the monotony. I want to start wearing funny hats or loud shirts or clown shoes or big elaborate earrings. I want to start randomly calling out meaningless phrases like "Fire in the hole!" or "Ring the bell!" every time I send an e-mail. I want to hire the Mummers to strut through the halls every once in a while. I want to form a conga line. I want to do anything that will encourage people to be genuine co-workers and at least talk to each other once in a while rather than sitting all day in dead, draining, debilitating silence.