Lent

I finally figured out what I wanted to do during Lent this year, and I can't believe how much trouble I'm having with it!

I love Lent.  I know many people see it as a dark, depressing time of low self-esteem, but I've never thought of it that way.  

To me, it's genuinely a time to try and change habits that will in turn change me as a person.  Maybe break some old bad habits, or start some new good habits.  

When I sincerely put my mind to the task, I can accomplish a lot during Lent.  I've had years where the revelations and self-discovery have been truly life changing experiences.  I've had other years where maybe the results weren't so dramatic, but there were results just the same.

This year I decided that I would tackle one of my biggest issues - food.  I am an outstanding yo-yo dieter having lost and gained and gained and lost the equivalent of a suburban family over the years.  If I keep it up, I'll most likely gain and lose the van and the family dog as well.

It occurred to me that the core issue is that I simply do not pay enough attention to what I'm eating or doing.  I am not thinking about the consequences to my body or my health.  I eat what I want, when I want it, and sometimes even when I don't want it.  

On the other hand, I do not want to become the type of dieter who is good for only one topic of conversation.  I know people who, if they talked about sex as much as they talk about food and weight, would be labeled sex addicts and recommended for treatment.  It's a bizarre obsession to talk constantly about something that shouldn't require that much attention.

I figured I could use Lent as a time to try and achieve the happy medium.  I decided to consciously practice saying grace before meals.  Every meal.  Every snack.  Every item of food I decided to put into my mouth would be first blessed with a prayer and thanks to God for the abundance of my existence.  Let's face it - the only thing between my problems with obesity and the starving people of Ethiopia is where I happened to be born.  Were it not for the accident of my birth granted through the grace of God, I could be living in a Third World country right now not knowing where my next meal was coming from - if there would even be a next meal. 

The thought is that the more conscious I become of what and when I eat, plus the conscious act of giving thanks for something I should not take for granted, would bring food up to the appropriate level of importance in my life.  The hope is that as I become more conscious of food as a gift, the less I will eat on impulse, the more I will eat foods that are healthy and worthy of offering to God.

What surprises me is how hard it's been for me to remember to do this one small thing!  Halfway through a meal I'll realize I never gave thanks for it.  Even if I remind myself before stepping into the kitchen, once the food is on the plate, all is forgotten.  Proof positive of how mindless the act of eating has become.  

There's a few more weeks left to Lent, so I'll continue the effort and hope that in the end there's a lasting benefit because of it.