And so this is Christmas.

Almost. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. My shopping is done. I'm wrapping gifts. My house is messier than I'd like and I hope to correct that problem before the New Year begins. I played flute for the last Sunday of Advent and will play at the Christmas Eve Vigil Mass tomorrow afternoon. I'm looking forward to it. There were some marathon rehearsals involved, but the music deserves that kind of attention and it will pay off in the end.

Spiritually though, I am a bit more sad than I'd anticipated and there is no one else responsible for that sadness except myself. Sometimes, I am my own worst enemy.

Friday afternoon I sent an e-mail to a colleague in another office. Copied on that e-mail were at least 5 or 6 other people from the same office. I knew what I wanted to say. I was fully confident that I was going to be found justified in everything I said, but I managed to say everything in an offensive, arrogant, and belligerent tone.

It was not until I received a hotly worded e-mail back from one of the recipients that my eyes were even opened to how badly I had worded the message. I read and re-read that e-mail several times before hitting the send button, and not once did it occur to me that someone might consider it to be rude.

Adding to the injury is the fact that there is a misunderstanding of what I was actually referring to in my message. I wrote my words with a very clear vision in my mind and every word was relative to that vision. Unfortunately, the people in the other office read those same words with a completely different vision in mind and their vision cast my words in an even worse light than had our visions been the same.

Consequently, there are some very angry people in the other office who immediately brought it to the attention of my boss who is now also very angry because I have unwittingly damaged some very important relationships.

Then because of the impending holiday, everyone left early on Friday and there was no opportunity for me to correct any of the mistakes I made or to smooth out the ruffled feathers or to offer any kind of relief to the injured feelings. Friday ended, for the 7 or 8 people involved, on a very bad note that will no doubt carry over into the holiday. Perhaps not for all, but for some, and for me.